Friday, 25 May 2018

in my skin.


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I've had a tumultuous relationship with my body. I verge between love and hate what feels like hourly. I resent it, I marvel at it, I can't bear to look at it, I can't get enough. I never know where I stand with myself.

I've talked before about my ongoing self esteem journey, and accepting the way I look is a huge part of that. I'm not there yet. Sometimes I think I'm doing okay, that I like myself; sometimes I don't. But there are ways that I can help myself feel better.

Tuesday, 15 May 2018

30.



Today I woke up 30, and I feel damn good about it.

The sun is sneaking in through the cracks in my windows, I'm comfortable, I'm happy with my life and myself, and everyone has told me being in your 30s is great. 

When you've lived with a chronic illness & bouts of depression and anxiety, there are some dark days - ones you truly believe you won't be around much longer. Because of this, I never really plan ahead, never think of the future, just try and make do with now. 

But gradually, along the way, I've built up this little life I love. I've filled it with nice things, experiences, and people. I use my creativity, I'm making money, I'm learning to be kinder - to myself, and in turn, others. I'm starting to think of the future. 

I'm not going to make any huge plans, as we all know life doesn't always take the route you want it to, but saving for someday and dreaming of making my world even lovelier are taking more of a front seat.


It may sound super cheesy, but I honestly feel like this is a new chapter. I'm feeling stronger in myself, comfortable in my body, and happy with pretty much everything. I'm content! And that is good enough for me!


Today I'm really appreciating my life, and all that has come with it. Today I'm truly celebrating turning 30. 


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Thursday, 19 April 2018

cabot circus - art of style event.



Sometimes I wonder how we shopped in Bristol before Cabot Circus was finished - it's a one-stop destination for all your high street needs - and next week, it's the location for a brilliant brand new fashion & beauty event, with free makeovers, catwalks, competitions and more! 

Sunday, 8 April 2018

be kind.


• cos jeans
• COS SHOES
photo by jack fairey

You can do all things with kindness, but you don't have to do all things.

One of the most important things I've learnt in life is the importance of kindness. I think this is something instilled in me from my mum - I can't imagine her ever being mean! - and it has become more and more important to me as I've got older. 

Monday, 26 March 2018

yoga brunch club.

Yoga Brunch Club March 2018 Kasia Kiliszek Murray May's food drink Bristol The Forge
PHOTOS BY KASIA KILISZEK

I've been meaning to attend since June, but for one reason or another I could never make it. Fate finally aligned last week, and I made my way to The Forge for my first Yoga Brunch Club experience.

Thursday, 22 March 2018

Monday, 12 March 2018

trying to love herself.



This is a girl who's trying to love herself.

I'm slowly learning that a soft stomach doesn't make me less worthy of adoration; a hair out of place won't matter in the long run; making mistakes doesn't make you a bad person; all humans are fallible; my scars don't make me unlovable. I've been loved for years despite and for all these "flaws", just not by the most important person - me.

I always see each "imperfection" as another reason why people shouldn't like me, when in other people I see them as interesting, relatable, and endearing. We are all so different that there's no point in comparing one another. I know this deep down.

I'm hoping this is the turning point that it feels like. I'm hoping this is me laying the foundations to build a loving relationship with myself. It's time to be a friend.

Spring is coming, and I will bloom.



I posted this photo to Instagram a couple of weeks ago, with the words above.

I was really nervous to share it. I very nearly didn't. I turned off all my notifications as soon as I hit "share" - scared of any backlash or controversy it might cause.

Monday, 26 February 2018

a cosy cabin in the cotswolds.



With this winter dragging on (and set to get colder!) it can be tempting to leave the country for warmer weather. But instead of escaping the temperatures, why not embrace the season with a cosy getaway in the UK? 

Wednesday, 10 January 2018

if your year has already turned to shit.



I've been feeling all sorts of guilt over the past week.

This isn't a new feeling for me - I seem to spend my life feeling guilty about what I haven't done, what I'm not, what I've eaten, what I said etc. - but I've felt it more so lately.

With the start of a new year comes an overwhelming amount of promise. You're going to be a better person, work harder, look better, learn something new, and everything else. 2018 is going to be YOUR year, the year you really sort shit out.

But then, a few days in, the hype dies down, and everything feels sort of.... shit.

Monday, 1 January 2018

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