An Autumn Mindset

Wearing Daisy London Estée Lalonde Short Snake Chain Necklace
& Forget Me Not Signet Ring (both gifted)

With the end of summer there always comes a shift in mindset for me, as well as a shift in my physical feelings - which seems exaggerated this year. I've slowed down, f a s t.

I think we are all tired. I don't need to reiterate how much we've all had to deal with over the last year and a half; it doesn't seem to be getting any easier. Restrictions are loose, but sometimes it feels like we're heading into more uncertainty.

For me, this is the perfect time to slow down and look inward. It's the perfect time to re-learn how to rely on myself.

The low sun and the orange light are telling me to hunker down, be inside. It's time to nourish my sense of self, and to remember the importance of self and the power within me. 

It's time to be warm - arms wrapped around self - feeling small, and safe, and calm. I have everything I need.

This season I want to be more intentional. I want to be slower, more steady, more focussed. There is an eagerness to do all of the things while we can, before it's taken away again. But if I'm feeling burned out before even starting, it's safer to stay small.

I want to be more vulnerable and honest with myself, and therefore others. To truly understand others and to be understood requires authenticity. I want to have the hard conversations, and to try my best to voice my feelings. I want to know where I am.

When I start to lose my sense of self, I want to remember the words tattooed on my thigh - ME FIRST.

I want to sit in quiet hope that things will be ok.

Steady, safe, consistent. Relying on me, for me.

Telling myself, "I'll keep loving you, even when you're too tired to."

Daisy London Estée Lalonde Short Snake Chain Necklace & Forget Me Not Signet Ring both kindly gifted, but all words are my own. 

How Chronic Illness Prepared Me For Lockdown.

When lockdown started, I discussed with a fellow chronically ill BFF, as well as a stranger I connected with through the Penpowerment project, how this time has really echoed the times when we've been incredibly unwell. It's also highlighted how many able-bodied people have no idea that this is how chronically ill people live for much of their lives - on one hand it's baffling how ignorant people can be, but on the other hand, how can they know if they can't see it? 

now studio yoga.

It's January, and you may have decided to take up a new form of exercise or to be kinder to your body.. if that's the case, you need to know that there's a new kid on the block in Bristol, and it's VERY lovely.

I've spoken about how much of an effect yoga has on me emotionally on here before (read my post about yoga brunch club) - I find it such a wonderful experience to think about and connect to my body in a different way that it has made me cry during practice many times in the past.

How I feel about my body has definitely improved over the last year or two, but I still have a strained relationship with food and exercise. I am trying my hardest to lean away from that into a kinder frame of mind, and things like this really help.

2020 and why I'm not looking back.

I posted about this on Instagram yesterday, but I have a bit more to say on the subject, which I've squirrelled away in my notebook. That post seemed to strike a chord with many of you, so maybe this will too. I wrote the following on New Year's Eve.

hearty vegan stew.

Don't worry pals, this isn't going to be one of those recipe posts with 40 paragraphs of my life experiences with beans - let's just jump right in. It isn't the prettiest, but it's so easy, and so so delicious.