Friday 31 December 2010

why wait.

2010 hasn't been the greatest year - overall I have pretty negative feelings about it. I'm so happy to see the back of it. Every cloud has a silver lining though, and I feel like I've learnt quite a lot about myself and other people. I really do feel that, especially in the last few months, I've grown a little as a person.

The whole "New Year" thing is a totally foreign concept to me. There are all these expectations for New Year's Eve to be the "BEST TIME EVER!" and it never is. Generally, it's just like a regular night out, but 10000x busier (so you can NEVER get to the bar) and you have to pay to get in everywhere! Even pubs!!! Everyone is on a mission to get completely off their faces and everyone scrambles to find someone to kiss at midnight. I had plans to go to a couple of parties in my village, but since I've fallen ill it looks like I'll be staying in! I don't mind too much though - I stayed in last year too (which did not impress the boyfriend I had at the time, but oh well!)

Then there's resolutions - if there's something you don't like about yourself or your life, why wait until January 1st to do something about it? The first day of your new life can start whenever you choose.

Saying that, here are my life (not New Year's) resolutions!

I am very guilty of putting things off and just hoping they'll get done/better on their own. They almost never do. From now on I want to be active in making my life better, creating goals and working towards a bright future.

(the one I always have and break within the first week, if not sooner) healthier food, more exercise, and healthier in the brainbox too.

"I'd rather live my life in regret than not take part in it." - Every Time I Die. I will be getting help with my anxiety - learning to think differently about myself and the world.

Make them feel special. Spend lots of time with people I love, and who I know love me. Don't bother trying with people who can't be bothered with you. It just makes you feel worthless and drained.

Ideally, I'd like to live in a city for a few years while I'm young and finding my niche. I like the idea of smaller, fun cities like Brighton or Bristol. I used to live in Bristol and I don't really want to move back now, but somewhere like that. Any ideas? But, until then I'd love to find a nice little place for me and Kayley.

Even if it's just places in the UK, I need to explore. I've already made vague plans to visit a friend in Brighton, and one of my best girls who is going to live in her hometown of Berlin for a while. VERY excited.

I want to be incredible at everything I do, and when I'm not, I end up beating myself up about it, instead of bettering myself. I want to find courses to aid me in getting better at the things I am passionate about. Dressmaking is very high up that list.

I've been batting this idea around for a little while, but once I've built up some stock (and my skills) I am going to start selling. I'm not entirely sure what I will be selling yet, but there will be an eclectic mix I'm sure! I'm pretty excited about it, I just need a little help and a little push. If there's anything you'd particularly like to see in my shop, let me know!

I find myself writing more than drawing these days. But when I do draw, I think "why don't I do this more often?" - the same with painting. More books will be made. Perhaps a zine or two. Collabs?

No explanation needed :)

A wise and brilliant man once said to me, "Honestly, my life being as it is right now has made me realise that the world is so fucking malleable. You can do whatever you want - all you need is realism and determination. I just feel like so many people miss out on so much because they don't realise that life is out there and you can just fucking take it."

And that is exactly what I am going to do.

Thursday 30 December 2010

today has been okay.

I forgot to share with you the only things I got while shopping in the sales the other day... and they weren't even in the sale. A couple of belts from Primark, and three books - 2 by Bukowski and Girlfriend in a Coma, which I'm reading now. It's really good so far, has made me cry and smile and I'm not even that far into it! Definite recommend.

This song is currently on repeat. I happened to catch a few seconds of it while watching Sugar Rush last night and was all "IHAVETOFINDTHATSONGRIGHTNOW" - it's soft, melancholy but hopeful, I think. Perfect this morning.

I'm spending a lot of time thinking about the past year and my future, perhaps I have a bit too much time on my hands. I'm spending too much time thinking, and not enough time DOING - a bad habit of mine. However, I seem to be falling ill (very sore throat, sneezing all over the place, groggy heavy feeling, y'know the drill) so I don't really feel like doing much. Just in time for New Year's Eve as well. SHAME.

Wednesday 29 December 2010

skipped a beat.

Hello, sorry I've been a little absent of late - Christmas is always a busy time, and the times I haven't been too busy to blog, I've been lazing in bed eating chocolate, watching crap telly and not having anything to blog about!

This is going to be a kind of mish-mash of lots of little things/photos that I didn't deem good enough to have a whole blog post of their own. So bear with me! Trust that my Christmas has been amazing - I won't bore you with the details!

(xmas biscuits ; the beginning of my brother and sister-in-law's canvas - I didn't take a photo of the finished piece! And my xmas cardi)

I've woken up at 5:30am the past two nights/mornings. This morning I opened my blind to see orange, red. It looked like the entire world had been on fire, and the embers were glowing through the smoke. It was just the blanket of fog that has covered us for days. I was happy to be on the receiving end of drunken texts this time - a language of jumbled honesty that I can relate to. Being told I’m the “best thing evet” is something I could get used to. I fell asleep and dreamt of blueberry smoothies and kisses, and woke to my white blanket of fog. It’s not so bad.

I am small.

The fog was amazing, so I went to take photos of it. I thought up this little lane it looked like something from Where The Wild Things Are, and I happened to have my hat with horns! Unfortunately, the fog quickly turned into that horrible drizzle that gets you soaked through in seconds. It wasn't very cold, but I came home and put my pyjamas on, a good excuse.

Hope you're all recovering from lovely festive times.

Big love,


Thursday 23 December 2010


(WEARING: headscarf - length of velvet fabric ; shirt - h&m ; tie - length of lace ; shorts - altered trousers from charity shop.)

I know the other day I said about not wearing black at this time of year... but today I couldn't resist. I feel like Minnie Mouse in this spotty shirt and velvet bow.

I have SO much to do today, but I've done pretty much nothing apart from raid a couple of charity shops and have lunch with my best friend. It was great to see him. I really needed it :)

Now I'm sitting around hoping I can make it over to the bay to see my girls, but it's looking pretty unlikely :( I'm also hoping the boys will be coming down to the pub so I can trot down and hopefully not have to buy any drinks for myself, considering I only have enough for one beer.

So not ready for Christmas in 2 days... oh well!


Wednesday 22 December 2010

hoar frost.

So this morning we woke to a world truly bitten by Jack Frost. Overnight we had mist and freezing temperatures, which caused a hoar frost. It makes everything white and like a magical winter wonderland. There was a coating of almost an inch of frost on some branches! It looked incredible, my photographs certainly don't do it justice.

If you want to see any bigger versions of these photographs, please visit my flickr!


Tuesday 21 December 2010


I just wanted to say a little hello to all you new people taking an interest in my blog! :) all the support is much appreciated.

Sorry I haven't posted anything in a few days - I left my camera at my friend's house and I don't really like doing posts with only words... you need a bit of visual stimulation!

If you're interested - I spent all of Sunday asleep, and most of yesterday tidying, baking and wrapping.

I'll be getting my camera back tomorrow :) and I've got a few things I want to blog about, including altered charity shop clothes, Christmas Day/party outfits, biscuit recipes (probably won't time for a video though!) and a couple of other things up my sleeve.

Considering posting some of my writing, it's only short auto-biographical prose (if you see what I mean) but I only seem to write when I'm feeling sad, so it might not be the greatest idea in the world.

Anyway, I love this Christmas song! My thoughts go out to those having difficulty getting home for Christmas.



Saturday 18 December 2010

fool me again.

Yesterday, I went with my mum to get our Christmas tree. It was so magical because it had been snowing, so all the trees were dusted with snow. We found two pretty good trees straight away (I'm super good at finding nice trees) and decided to go for the massive bushy one! I think it might be the best tree we've ever had! Then it started snowing again! It was so exciting and magical and festive :) really made me feel happy inside.

After that we went into Totnes for a bit of shopping and lunch and stuff. I got these really cute slipper sock things! I LOVE them!

Then it was time to get the tree out and decorate it. While I was doing this I looked out of the window to see that it was snowing again!

I'm not a big fan of tinsel or baubles, and I am a big fan of tradition, so this is our tree. It has some decorations that we've had as long as I can remember. I might take some close up photos of them sometime. (It looks a LOT better without flash!)

(WEARING: headscarf - my mum's ; shirt - h&m ; tie - ribbon ; skirt - charity shop ; navy tights - primark ; slipper socks - totnes market.)

I'm a pretty bummed out this morning because I was meant to be travelling up to London to see someone I miss a lot. I won't go into it, but it's part of the whole "big decision" thing I've vaguely mentioned before. But it snowed again so the world is all pretty (I'm enjoying listening to it crunch as people walk past my house, and the strange noises coming from my roof as it melts and cracks), and I'm partying with some of my favourite people tonight, so I'm going to be just fine, thank you very much.

Here's a Christmas song, because everybody loves a bit of Wham! (I wasn't allowed to embed the official video, but hey, now you have the lyrics so you can sing along!)

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