Monday, 7 December 2015

goodbye, happy home.



This was my home.


This is where I grew up, where I learnt to read, write, express myself. This is where I learnt that it is perfectly fine to just be me. I lived here. I cried here. I stared for hours, days out of these windows. I discovered every crooked corner. I had first kisses, last kisses, missed kisses. It was an incredible place to grow up, and the best base to come back to from Bristol. 

It felt so unsafe packing everything away, not being able to come back to this place that I felt so secure. My stomach was aching and my heart was breaking. Thinking about never going back made me feel sick. How could I never set foot in this house again? 

The rooms gradually started looking bigger and bigger as we emptied them out. 

I felt so angry at the people who would be moving in to our home. They will never love it as much as we do. They won't be there taking care of the place, as it'll be a holiday home. My mum said something which changed my mind. She didn't want to meet the new owners, or know who they are, but she didn't feel any bad feelings towards them anymore. She wanted to give the house with love, because it was a house full of love. It made me realise that I didn't want anyone to be unhappy there, I just wanted the house to be full of smiles.

As we loaded the car up for the last time, the wind began to howl. Maybe the house was heartbroken too.


It didn't feel real leaving - it still doesn't. Every time I go back to Devon I expect to go over the hill and down into the valley and up the narrow street to that familiar door, where the cats will greet me. 

The Lakes is a truly special place.
























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14 comments

  1. Aww, this was so sweet but sad! Beautiful pictures. I hope that with time it hurts a bit less. Leaving places for a final time is always hard.

    Rachel | www.currentlyrachel.com

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    Replies
    1. I still can't imagine not having Christmas here! But it feels better now, generally x

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  2. What a truly magical place. I'm glad you got to spend so many happy years there. I can see why it is such an emotional experience to leave it. I hope your new home brings you new, wonder full memories. Cheers, Ardith

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  3. Your beautiful photography really captured what your words said. I totally empathise as I also felt like this when I moved from my childhood home...

    Jenna
    | princessparasox.wordpress.com | bloglovin' |

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    Replies
    1. It's hard isn't it! Even though I didn't live there anymore, it was still heart wrenching! x

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  4. <3 i love you, you fuzzy little peach.

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  5. How sad :( I love these pictures though.

    I'm dreading the day my parents move house. There are really few places I feel completely myself in... can't imagine what it's like when your home (even if 'home is family etc') is somewhere you can't go back to.

    Thinking of you xx

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    Replies
    1. It is scary, but it really is true that it's the people that make it feel like home. It's so different visiting my mum where she is now, but with all the familiar things around, her, the cats, it still kind of feels like home. Obviously, it's not the same, but it's not as hard as I thought it would be xxx

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  6. This is really sad :( I've never moved from a family home as an adult and I imagine this would be hell :( I think my parents are hoping to downsize when they retire and I know I'll be very nostalgic then.

    Hopefully some lovely new memories to make in your new home.

    Zoe-Lee

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    Replies
    1. I love nostalgia, even if it's really sad. Make sure you take lots of photos while they're still living there :) x

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