So, picture the scene - me in my grey PJs, windows of my attic room open and sun streaming in, drinking tea and scrolling through Instagram while I roll around on my bed.. I think, "I should really blog about something today," and then I get distracted looking at Kara Haupt's instagram for a creepy amount of time.
Maybe I should blog about her!
I have a few favourites on Instagram and in the blogging world, and she is most definitely up there in both categories. She just so funny, clever, and really flippin' talented. I can't remember how I first found her blog, but I'm glad I did. It's full of music and art and interesting things. Also, she has a cat. And takes really great selfies.
There's something very strong and honest about her, that is helping me out of a rut today. She makes me want to write down whatever I'm feeling, big and bold, stick it on the wall and not apologise for it.
In her own words - "Designer, babe, and haver of fun."
ALL IMAGES FROM KARAHAUPT INSTAGRAM.
Caption with above image:
"A couple nights ago I was on my break at work, out getting coffee, and some random man walking on the street, turned around, and spat on me. Completely out of the blue, some nasty ass piece of shit's spit on my coat and hair.
Walking and the street harassment that accompanies it always reminds me of my gender. Reminds me that I can't do much to a man twice my weight who decides to spit on me. I am keenly aware of my body every time I go anywhere, along with the fear the presence my own body causes me.
The nasty stares, the wolf whistles from old men, being followed for blocks by a man telling me I'm pretty and that he wants to take me home. Those are just the recent ones, and similar to every woman's experience of having a body in a city.
I came back to work upset of course, shaking and trying not to cry. I found myself admonishing myself for crying. Being reminded of how I am physically and institutionally weaker than them. That I shouldn't show my "weakness" or let it bother me so much and how that's just what I get. Internalized misogyny is a nasty fucker.
I walked away with shame for feeling righteously upset and for crying and feeling sick. I am not fucking okay with internalizing shame about emotions for my own victimization and neither should you.
You are allowed to be scared, you allowed to be angry and combative on the streets. You get to cross the street if a man makes you feel even slightly uncomfortable. You get to glare. You get to avoid public transportation if it scares you. You get to move if a well meaning man stands too close.
And if you don't do any of those things and some piece of shit harasses or hurts you, it's not your fault. It's totally 100% fucking fine to react in any way you do, whether that is hollering back or ignoring or being too shocked to do anything or crying and avoiding men on the street for days, it's fucking fine.
And it makes you the furthest thing from weak."
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